about worrying about your spouse it is a little out because it depends of what condition, most cheating spouses always call this situation an accusation even they are cut cheating if the whole world don't see them..
if you cheat that will be an attribute for low self esteem as well you failed to maintain stability.
if you are self confident don't get married or have a spouse if you are going to cheat.
when you say you love you shouldn't tried to hurt youself, thinking that you hurting your mate.
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